Learning to Love Me! My Journey to Change My Body and Mind....

One week in with my 24 Day Challenge.  The first phase of my challenge is the cleanse phase in which I have 3 more days.  Along with the cleanse and getting rid of the toxin in my body in order to better aid my hopeful weight loss, I've been doing a mental cleanse.  They say a good cleanse is good once in a while.  

As I have stated before, I have always struggled with my weight.  Always gone up and down. At the same time I have always been mostly active, working out up to 6 days a week. Staying as active as I possibly can mostly because I want to FEEL good and have energy.  All the while secretly wanting to have those rock hard abs and sculpted legs. To which has been a life long struggle..when it comes to the sculpted legs...I don't know that I have ever achieved that part..even with working out at the gym 6 days a week, my legs looked a heck of a lot better than they do now..but I still had the cellulite!  AND.... that my friends, is what has attributed to MY poor body image.

Body image is one's body perception and judgement of one's size, shape, weight and other aspects that relate to body appearance (hair, skin tone). 

*Can be different from how body actually appears to outside observers

*Influential factors in body image, reactions by others about one's appearance, comparison w/others and to cultural ideals, physical characteristics, parents, siblings, teachers, peers, coaches, media.  

So part of the mental cleanse I am doing is to remember why I feel the way I do about my body and what I need to do to purge those negative perceptions that I've acquired and allowed to take a hold of my life.  

I've told you all about my negative thoughts about my legs.  I remember two distinctive episodes in my life that I know have attributed to that negative view of my legs which has made it my life long mission to over come it.  ONLY two times has an outside observer said a negative thing and I have allowed those two times to "scar" me for life?!?  

I have challenged that negative voice inside me before and I've won the battle....but lately,  I've realized I am falling back into listening to that negative voice once again. 

My mental cleanse once again has started with taking my weight loss goals seriously and my workouts seriously. Taking those goals seriously has opened up the inner beast and I am ready to face the negative voice that says I can't and tries to shame me into hiding.   It is about shedding/cleansing those years of self hatred, shame, and misplaced criticism.  They really don't belong in the here and now!  

I love the quote "don't let anyone dull your sparkle".    I'm not gonna let that negative voice dull my sparkle!  

Have a great week and stay warm!  

Love, 

Marcy

Winter Blues

I don't know about you all, but I've got the blues. I'm tired of this when hell freezes over weather..

With about 60% of the US dealing with below temps and poor Boston dealing almost 8 feet of snow, who wants to build a snowman?!?!?   I loved Frozen! The movie was great, but in real life...not so great!  I'm done with it.  Let it go already!  ANNNDDD I'm letting go......and this is what I'm letting go of.......

I'm ready for the sunshine that brings warm temps.  Great long walks outside.  Hiking, riding.... anything outside.  Being outside helps when I'm feeling blah!  Being outside keeps me active and healthy mentally AND physically!

Well things have changed..no longer can I put the boys on the bus and go out in the field and mess around with my horse.  No longer can I put the boys on the bus and go for a run. No longer does my job consist of being outside for 12 hours a day.

I've been in a slump for quite some time. I get these spurts of energy and go full out with my dieting and training....then I revert back.  I'm tired of trying to run a household on my own.  I fall into working 40+ hours a week trap.  I come home feed two teenage boys, try to stay on top of their school work, take care of the mundane daily living skills, laundry, playing taxi service. They need a life, mom needs a life.  And really my boys aren't as busy as some....so what's the deal?!?!  Why can't I seem to multi task like before?

I'm the sort of gal who needs to get things the hard way.  Well the hard way hit me on Sunday when I stepped on the scale and took my measurements.   I've been toying with committing to this 24 day challenge thing, my girlfriend has introduced me to.  I've bought some of the product and tried it...loved it.  But have been keeping my other foot out the door so to speak.   Not sure what clicked last week, but I decided to go ahead and commit to this challenge, come hell or high water.  Stepping on that scale was the beginning of that challenge...and well it hit me..hard!  TIME is NOW!

I've always struggled with the scale and the number on the scale.  I've struggled with always being the "big tall" girl in the class or in the crowd.  I've learned to embrace the tallness, but with the tallness comes the struggle with my inferior complex of looking so huge next to my cute petite friends, which I've secretly desired a time or two.  So my journey will be a struggle with the scale and my own mental thoughts of what I think I should look like.   I've been here before, and I've done it...just like anything else.... I set my mind to something, I do it!

So I am setting out on a journey to regain my physically active lifestyle....and I am asking you to join me.  I plan on posting my highs and lows, my struggles, my triumphs with the scale, in addition to what has helped me regain the body confidence that I had fought so hard to get.  I am putting it all out there for the world to see...

Today is day two of my 24 day challenge.  Eating wise, I have made healthy choices, portion control. I worked out for 35 minutes.  I feel it in my gut that this is the journey meant for me.  I hope to meet more of you who are embarking on a similar journey.

Nothing better to beat the winter blues than getting my sweat on!!!

Thank you for taking the time to visit my page.  Have a great active evening!!!


Love,

Marcy