Maybe I Am More....and Maybe YOU ARE TOO!

My divorce has been final for about 8 months now.  I was separated for a little over two years.   I am 40 something...(AHEM)  and just NOW figuring out who I am as a woman and mother.    I realized not long after my boys and I moved out of the house after talking to a pastor and friend of mine, that I really had no clue who I was. My ex had me so "beaten" down emotionally and mentally that I lost all sense of who Marcy was.   I knew who I wanted to be or at least I thought I did.. BUT REALLY,  could I be more? Could I do more?  Was I worth more?  Just WHO AM I?  These are the answers I have been searching for through this journey.

  

Someone asked me once, if I had to do over again, would I?  The answer is "NO".  If I seriously knew what I know now, I would not have walked down that aisle that February day.  I think I was too young, too naive, too eager to please, and not in love.  I think I was too afraid to admit that.   There were many signs in our dating life that when I look back, I can see were red flags, but I ignored those red flags.

That being said, I wouldn't have my two wonderful boys.  I am so thankful for my boys and I love them with all of my heart.  I am a firm believer that things happen for reason. I don't understand totally why, but I do know that my boys wouldn't be here if I hadn't walked down that aisle. So for that reason alone it was worth it.

So what is the purpose for this journey I am on?  I don't have all the answers.   I have thoughts and ideas of why I think my life has taken this turn.  And maybe all things are not for me to know why.  But I have learned that maybe I am more.  Maybe I really am that girl who likes the great outdoors. Maybe I am that girl who likes to work hard, just not when I'm being screamed at because I mowed the lawn the wrong direction. Maybe I really DO like to cook and maybe I really do know HOW to cook, just forgot because I was told that I couldn't.  And maybe I do know what I'm talking about sometimes.  Maybe there are even people who want me to talk to them, who don't mind if I ask questions.  Maybe someone does value my input.

MAYBE,  Just maybe I AM MORE!

~ Marcy~