Depression is so very real! My heart is heavy right now. I want to share my thoughts on depression. Please if you know anyone dealing with depression reach out to them.
We say things like "they've fought depression for years. They battle depression...yada yada...when someone kills themselves we say they "lost their fight with depression. I have said the same thing. But really? It sounds like we lump this into a category of illness that can be fought if we just fight hard enough. I would think if we could REALLY fight depression things would be a lot easier. I don't really think one can "fight" depression.
Let me just say this about depression. Depression isn't about feeling sad. Depression is about feeling nothing. And how do you fight NOTHING?
As Hyperbole and a Half writer Allie Brosh writes:
The most frustrating thing about depression (is that) it isn't always something you can fight back against with hope. It isn't even something - it's nothing. And you can't combat nothing. You can't fill it up. You can't cover it up. It's just there, pulling the meaning out of everything. That being the case, all the hopeful, proactive solutions start to sound completely insane in contrast to the scope of the problem.
So there you have it....you don't battle depression, you endure it. You experience, you LIVE it day after day.
Sure you are not totally powerless. You learn to work out what triggers the worst episodes. You find a good doctor. You find what works and you stick with it. You learn who to trust in your family and friends to tell them what's going on. You learn who to lean on when things are getting bad. Yep there are lots of things to be done for us to "manage" our depression. But there are times where it's just not good enough...but that doesn't mean we didn't "fight" hard enough.
We think as a society telling those dealing with depression to "choose to live" is helpful...well it's not..it's destructive and hurtful..it's insinuating that they don't believe enough, that they aren't fighting enough...it is more destructive. It's not okay to tell depression sufferers they'll be okay if they believe hard enough or choose to be happy. It's not okay to tell them to try harder! They try hard EVERY day!
If you know someone living with depression don't assume you understand what they are going through and don't just tell them to get over it and move on.
If you or someone you love is thinking about suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org
