~~This Girl Loves Football!~~

SUPERBOWL XLIX ~   I'm ready for some football!  

I started out making this post about the current deflate gate scandal surrounding the New England Patriots and cheating in sports and what message it sends to our youth teams.  I am disgusted by the scandal and the fact we just can't have some good honest football around here.

Enter **SQUIRREL MOMENT**

While looking up some statistics and other football facts, I came across a page entitled "why women commenting and posting about football is annoying".... WELL, let me tell you, forget deflated balls! I am here to say WHY I am annoyed and why it is difficult to be a female fan sometimes...  SOOOO.....Let me tell you, what the annoying realities of being a female football fan are!!!!   Grrrrr.....ball ready...GAME ON!

Just cause I love pink doesn't mean
I don't want to wear my team colors!  

Football is an American past time that has been bringing families and friends together for decades. One of my favorite all time memories and cherished moments are football Sundays and pasta with my family!  Hanging my terrible towel on the mantel...and just enjoying watching football with my family. I mean it's FOOTBALL! hoooorahhh!  

Let me also say we are capable of enjoying the sport of football without the need of impressing ANY man or FOR the man...so aggravating to be asked "who do you think is cute"?  What the heck...he's sweating..and dirty..and well yeah..some girls are into that..myself included..sorry "squirrel" moment..... Why can't a girl just enjoy sports for the themselves...NO MAN NECESSARY!

We do not need an explanation for every play; we actually know what's going on from our own know how....unless we ask..please, we really do know what's going on...usually!  lol

One of the biggest annoying thing as a female fan is the pop quizzes!!  I may not know EVERY starting player, or every little detail about their statistics, but really it's annoying to be quizzed when I mention who my favorite team may be.  At the end of my day, their starting players. or their numbers don't affect me in the least...so I don't care!!!!

And just because pink is my favorite color, doesn't mean I don't need my jersey all bedazzled or bling blinged out...I love my team's colors.  Some better cuts and choices may be nice..but I want to wear black and gold!  I'm proud of those team colors!!!

It's not just a phase or we're not just on the bandwagon. Win or lose, we female fans are fans to the end.  It doesn't matter how we grew to love it, we love it.  Football doesn't care about relationship issues, it doesn't care about stresses from work or school. For myself, it's sorta an escape from those things.

Football is more than just a sport, it is part of the American culture which I love!

Go ahead, my fellow female fans..wear your team colors proudly and don't let anything keep you from fully enjoying your team and the sport of football!  ANY sport for that matter!

Have a happy and great weekend!   AND....since my favorite team is not playing..I am going for #GoSeattleSeahawks.    Make Tom Brady eat his #deflatedballs!  

Love,

Marcy   #STEELERSfanalltheway

~~Huge Hopes, Big Let Downs...Learning to deal with disappointments~~

Another year has come and gone...I am a year older, but am I a year wiser???  LOL!  You'd think after AHEM...40 something years, I'd get it!!!    Life is full of disappointments, that's just life, it's how I deal with it that matters...HOW does one deal with it?  What is the right way to deal with being let down?

I tend to feel guilty with "feeling disappointed or let down"....I think it is selfish of me to think more of a situation or to expect more of a loved one.

Coming out of an unhealthy, abusive relationship where I was constantly getting my hopes up and being let down, I learned to close myself off and withdraw.  It was easier to deny my feelings and then to just lock them away and not feel.  Another one of many learning areas in rebuilding my life after divorce is learning how to experience those feelings and not resorting back to my unhealthy pattern of shutting down...which has been very difficult.  One of the most difficult parts of putting my life back together.

Really, though, I'm not the only one who feels disappointments and let down.  We all deal with it differently, it comes down to how we're wired personally, I guess.  Some can get over it quickly., some can't, just because of how we are "wired".

We are under stress to just "get over things" quickly.  We are living in an age of fast food, microwave popcorn, immediate gratifications...we need to do things quickly.  But really our emotions aren't always in agreement with the worlds fast ways.   Why can't we just allow ourselves to experience a feeling?  

Obviously I can't lock myself away when I experience disappointment, but I need to allow myself time to experience the feeling without the obligation of having to speed it up and just get over it.
Whatever I am feeling is okay. It is important to take time to feel.

After I feel the emotion it is easier for me to gain perspective on the situation.  Once I've allowed myself to breath...I am then able to give the situation room to breathe.  Maybe the person who disappointed me didn't realize it. I feel what I feel and then I can think.

Sometimes I need someone else to help me gain that perspective.  I need to talk things out so that I can see the other side of the situation.  

As I stated earlier, I tend to close down...so after I have felt the feelings, and gain perspective, I need to remain open hearted in order to learn from the disappointment.  By maintaining the open heart it gives me the freedom to choose to be driven by the disappointment and not controlled by the emotion of being let down.  SO MUCH easier said than done for me!  But I'm learning..and getting better!!!

Now for me to practice acceptance.   Even though I know that things are bound to happen, I am not always willing to accept them.  I have to accept that life will continue to disappoint me, that is part of life, part of being human.  I also have to accept that I will probably continue to struggle with this fact at various points for the rest of my life.  UGH!

Practicing acceptance is a lifelong challenge and fundamental to me dealing with disappointment.  I WILL be disappointed.  I will disappoint, life will be disappointing BUT it WILL pass!

Disappointments may be a part of life, but ALL parts of life can help me grow. I can be present and aware even in the midst of negative emotions and therefore live life  more fully.

Time for me to move past it.......I can do it!!!

The Golden Rule

I saw this image on this site...Loved it!
  http://www.breathofoptimism.com/

The Golden Rule is an ethical or moral code that states we should treat others the way we want to be treated.  

I have seen people's reactions to those I have worked with over the past 2 years with mental, physical, and behavioral disabilities.  It astonishes me the way people really treat those that "aren't like" us.  To this day those with mental or physical disabilities are not treated as well as those who have no mental, physical, or behavioral diagnosis.  I was at a restaurant with a group of such individuals in which they were on their best behavior but because some talked differently or talked a bit more loudly than what is "expected" I guess....I don't even know why... but there was a table of a mom, grandma and two young children..who got up and moved because "they just couldn't sit next to those people".   I have seen the looks of disdain, pity and I guess just plain misunderstanding as we have walked through a store or museum.  

I have learned that it wasn't that long ago that people that have such disabilities were just locked away in an asylum because we as society didn't understand that there really were issues in the brain and chemical makeup of some people that made them act differently than what we consider the norm.

It makes me think about that fact that yes, indeed there are those who suffer from pretty severe mental/behavioral and sometimes physical disabilities.  Most by no fault of their own.   But they are human.  HUMAN, just like you and I.   They may not understand the world in the same way as we do, but really does the world even make sense to anyone some days?  And don't we all have moments that we act differently, usually due to choices we make on our own where we cause our own frustrations.  Sometimes we are own worse enemy.  My point being, we ALL have some sort of issue/issues from time to time.  We all can be considered "different".

When I was running the day camp program at the youth ranch camp.  I one day taught the golden rule, "treat others the way you want to be treated"...we read the Bernstein Bears Golden Locket book...and made our own lockets to remind us of how we should treat others.   We were in the middle of free play when I was sitting inside the tent area and I heard some little ones bickering in the sand box...I listened and a little girl let out with an ear piercing shout "IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO YELL AT YOU, THEN DON'T YELL AT ME"!!!    Everyone stopped, even the ants stopped to listen!   Needless to say the young man who was giving her a hard time and shouting at her...didn't raise his voice to her the rest of the week...nor did he to anyone!  lol..She got her point across!   Treat others the way you want to be treated!   LOL!   SHE got it...and so did the rest of the buckaroos! LOL!!!  No one raised their voice the rest of the week!

We all see every day, discrimination to SOME degree.   Discrimination in ANY form against ANY differences is just plain wrong!   WRONG!  WE are all human, we all bleed, we all laugh, we all cry, we all fall down, we all rise up.  We are ALL subject to discrimination and I'm sure most of us have experienced it at some point in our lives.   I know we don't live in an ideal world..but my ideal world would be to consider all of our differences UNIQUE and to give each other the benefit of the doubt. Treat people with respect and dignity until or unless they prove they don't deserve your respect or dignity by doing some heinous act against you or your family, or unless they threaten your safety and well being.  

Why can't we all just get along? Why can't we embrace each others differences?  Why can't we all just:

TREAT OTHERS THE WAY WE WANT TO BE TREATED.   

I wish everyone a very wonderful Sunday evening and a great week ahead!  And I pray for safety for those who may have to travel in inclement weather.  Have a good week! 



Marcy

Sending HUGS!

In so many ways, the holiday season is so very painful for some for various of reasons.   I want to extend hugs and prayers to all of those who have been in pain through this holiday season and as the new year is now upon us.   

http://www.bestsayingsquotes.com/files/awesome-hug-quotes-pictures-2-4a59a554.jpg

I started my blog in hopes of offering A HOPE to those who are going through the divorce process. As the holidays are painful for so many different reasons, it is particularly painful for those of us entering or already in the midst of a separation and divorce.  Every where you turn you see adds for love and romance and happy families spending the holidays together. And how about those mushy holiday TV movies!?!? Even my 11 year old said.."why is this all they put on during Christmas...there is no such thing as "happily ever after"....and it hurts!"  Sad that an 11 yr old knows that sort of heartache at his young age!   It's sort of like a sucker punch in the stomach every time those adds come on, or everywhere you turn you see signs of love and romance. Makes ya think, what's wrong with me?  Will I ever find love? Does love really exist?  Just so many things mess with your mind and already hurting heart.

I have been reading this past week and my heart aches for all of those women who are hurting..and who's lives are really in the midst of disarray.  I too remember that suffocating pain..those lonely nights, those holiday gatherings that are no longer, that first holiday dinner that the kids go and spend it with the STBX instead of the whole family and you find yourself spending it alone or at least feeling alone even if you have a gathering with your relatives.  Or how about those other holiday celebrations that you no longer get invited to because of whatever reason..... IT HURTS SO STINKING bad!  A side note.... I wish those who are still in our lives would realize that we don't need you to fix things..and we know that you don't know what to say, but do you have to exclude us? We don't have the plague...in fact we are in serious need of acceptance and love.  And when the people who we think love us continue to exclude us because they don't know what to say to us...we feel even more unlovable.  

Anyways, back to my holiday hugs...my hope is to let someone out there who may need to know at the moment they read this that they are NOT alone!  If I could..I would wrap my arms around everyone who is currently hurting from the suffocating pain of divorce. 

Please, my friend, know YOU ARE NOT ALONE!  Things may not get better today, things may not get better tomorrow...in fact things may not get better for while.....but you ARE lovable..you ARE worthy of more.  YOU ARE WORTH IT!   Please, please, please, find a group, or a friend to help you while you are going through this most painful journey of your life.  Divorce sucks, and it hurts, but there is healing.  You will get through this!  You will my friend!!!   

Love and HUGS,

Marcy

Welcome 2015!!!

With the morning dew comes a new day.....

Wanted to take this time to say Happy New Year to all my fellow bloggers, friends and family.   As I've scrolled down through Facebook and Twitter and have seen pictures of everyones' celebration and new years resolution posts I've reflected on 2014 and what I've learned.

2014 was full of ups and downs for me..as I am sure for most.  Some  have had more downs than ups. Most use the first day of the new year as a the first page in a new chapter. However our lives are new EVERY morning.  We all choose how to live our new page of life daily.   Some have circumstances in their lives that make being happy or healthy more difficult from time to time.  However, we still have a new "page" every day.  We all have a chance to start a new page every day of the year if we wake up breathing.   Why wait to the new year when we have a new page every day of the year?? That has been an exciting thought for me.  I don't have to wait!  I can start new every day!

I learn things the hard way.  Always......but one thing I've learned in the year 2014 is that I have a chance to make a difference every day that I am alive and breathing.  Another thing is that no one will or can live my life for me...it is truly up to me, to live my life to the fullest.  I must choose happiness over sadness, I must choose to worry about myself and the things I CAN change, not the things I can't.   I must choose love over hate.  I must choose forgiveness over unforgiving.   It's up to ME and no one else to live my life for me.  

Happy 2015 everyone!  May you all have a healthy, happy and prosperous year!  

Love,

Marcy