~~Huge Hopes, Big Let Downs...Learning to deal with disappointments~~

Another year has come and gone...I am a year older, but am I a year wiser???  LOL!  You'd think after AHEM...40 something years, I'd get it!!!    Life is full of disappointments, that's just life, it's how I deal with it that matters...HOW does one deal with it?  What is the right way to deal with being let down?

I tend to feel guilty with "feeling disappointed or let down"....I think it is selfish of me to think more of a situation or to expect more of a loved one.

Coming out of an unhealthy, abusive relationship where I was constantly getting my hopes up and being let down, I learned to close myself off and withdraw.  It was easier to deny my feelings and then to just lock them away and not feel.  Another one of many learning areas in rebuilding my life after divorce is learning how to experience those feelings and not resorting back to my unhealthy pattern of shutting down...which has been very difficult.  One of the most difficult parts of putting my life back together.

Really, though, I'm not the only one who feels disappointments and let down.  We all deal with it differently, it comes down to how we're wired personally, I guess.  Some can get over it quickly., some can't, just because of how we are "wired".

We are under stress to just "get over things" quickly.  We are living in an age of fast food, microwave popcorn, immediate gratifications...we need to do things quickly.  But really our emotions aren't always in agreement with the worlds fast ways.   Why can't we just allow ourselves to experience a feeling?  

Obviously I can't lock myself away when I experience disappointment, but I need to allow myself time to experience the feeling without the obligation of having to speed it up and just get over it.
Whatever I am feeling is okay. It is important to take time to feel.

After I feel the emotion it is easier for me to gain perspective on the situation.  Once I've allowed myself to breath...I am then able to give the situation room to breathe.  Maybe the person who disappointed me didn't realize it. I feel what I feel and then I can think.

Sometimes I need someone else to help me gain that perspective.  I need to talk things out so that I can see the other side of the situation.  

As I stated earlier, I tend to close down...so after I have felt the feelings, and gain perspective, I need to remain open hearted in order to learn from the disappointment.  By maintaining the open heart it gives me the freedom to choose to be driven by the disappointment and not controlled by the emotion of being let down.  SO MUCH easier said than done for me!  But I'm learning..and getting better!!!

Now for me to practice acceptance.   Even though I know that things are bound to happen, I am not always willing to accept them.  I have to accept that life will continue to disappoint me, that is part of life, part of being human.  I also have to accept that I will probably continue to struggle with this fact at various points for the rest of my life.  UGH!

Practicing acceptance is a lifelong challenge and fundamental to me dealing with disappointment.  I WILL be disappointed.  I will disappoint, life will be disappointing BUT it WILL pass!

Disappointments may be a part of life, but ALL parts of life can help me grow. I can be present and aware even in the midst of negative emotions and therefore live life  more fully.

Time for me to move past it.......I can do it!!!