Do You REALLY Still Love Me Now that I No Longer Fit Your Definition of Who You Think I AM.

I love this quote from Author Dean Jackson.....
a lot of what I've felt since I've gotten my wings.

We all have differences, different political views, religious and other social differences. We all have quirks. We're all a little unique in our own ways....embracing differences doesn't mean you necessarily agree with some one's view point.  If you love and embrace someone, it doesn't mean you are going to end up with their quirks or differences... just means you embrace the human that God created. GOD created us differently....and guess what, since He created us that means HE knows we have those difference.  And guess what HE accepts us and our differences.   HE loves us.  He tells us to LOVE others...tells us the greatest of these is LOVE....that's funny!  REALLY?  Do you still love me since I no longer fit the mold you say I should? BUT I know God does...and the work He has started in me is not finished or perfected until the day He calls me home.

My ex stopped by last evening to drop something off for our son, he says, I hear you are learning to play the Ukulele....then he proceeds to ask about the white water rafting and the other things I've done since he and I have been a part....then says to me..I didn't realize you were into all of that stuff......hmmmmmmm.....maybe that's' because you didn't give me a chance to show you that side of me because you were so busy telling me what I did and didn't like.  

MADE me think about the people who have left my side, the people who removed me from their circle of friendship since the divorce and I've started learning who I really am.

Do we REALLY want people to be themselves?  Do we really want to know their differences?  I don't think so.

And how do you be yourself without being completely self serving...there is a fine line between being yourself and putting yourself before others.  We need to have a healthy balance of knowing who we are and being true to our likes, dislikes, and our personalities.

Today,  I'm seeing a lot on social media posts about being yourself..that we are all different and how we should embrace that....REALLY?  Funny how now that I've started to find out who I really am and have stopped letting people dictate what I like and don't like...over these last few years the people who have disappeared from my life... what is that again about how we are ALL different and we should just be ourselves???  Come again?!?

People are funny!  Be yourself.....but I'll only like you if your version of yourself is someone I can accept and tolerate.  

It's really true...you really do find out who are your true friends by who is still by your side after the skeletons have come out of the closet.  

I let go and I've decided to be just who I AM!  Weird, unique and different!


Love the weird and unique



Marcy!!!

The Single Mom Debate

Being a single parent doesn't necessarily mean you are physically single.  You can be a single parent if you have a spouse that is in the military while they are away for great lengths of time, or if you have a spouse who travels for work a lot. Michelle Obama referred to herself as a "busy single mom". I mean come on, she is married to the President?!  How can she claim that...but really I'm sure she has "felt" that at times she is doing it alone.

She then self corrected herself in saying "Believe me, being a busy single mom - or I shouldn't say single, as a busy mother.....Sometimes you know, when you have a husband as President, you can feel a little single.  But he is there" She is essentially saying that she sometimes feels as though she does it alone.  And I can empathize, that yes, she probably does "feel" alone at times.

Just because a partner is physically present doesn't mean a parent can't feel that he or she is taking on the role of raising their children alone.

Single parenting doesn't necessarily have anything to do with relationship status...but relationship status certainly factors into it.  Single parenthood, I think can be defined by the level of social, financial, and custodial responsibility one assumes for the child/children.

I also saw this meme that was circulating on Twitter and Facebook.......when the anonymous married father who posted this was asked why he did so...his response was that basically he feels as though some people use the single mom term to pretend they are going through a struggle.  He feels as though some successful people pretend that they grew up rough....Mothers with GOOD fathers who pretend that they're in the same position as women who do it alone.

He went on to say that he knew women who had their children 7 days a week with little to no social interaction from the father, who paid everything, without the help from government assistance, who kept up with their childrens' educational and extracurricular activities .  To him that is being a single parent...and he's not wrong.

He says its a slap in the face to the women who really do it all alone.  I appreciate him "sticking up" for those who really do it all alone.

While I don't disagree with his thought process....I think that if we have ever cared for our children at any length alone or with out equal involvement or participation from the other parent, we can all empathize with single parenting experiences.

It's not about "us"verses "them" in the arena of motherhood.......being a mom is being a mom...Mothering is mothering is mothering.  End of story.  It's ALL hard, who am I to say who has it worse......It's a tough job and only a MOM can do it!  ;)

Here's to ALL the moms out there!  God bless!

Love,

Marcy

Learning to Love Me! My Journey to Change My Body and Mind....

One week in with my 24 Day Challenge.  The first phase of my challenge is the cleanse phase in which I have 3 more days.  Along with the cleanse and getting rid of the toxin in my body in order to better aid my hopeful weight loss, I've been doing a mental cleanse.  They say a good cleanse is good once in a while.  

As I have stated before, I have always struggled with my weight.  Always gone up and down. At the same time I have always been mostly active, working out up to 6 days a week. Staying as active as I possibly can mostly because I want to FEEL good and have energy.  All the while secretly wanting to have those rock hard abs and sculpted legs. To which has been a life long struggle..when it comes to the sculpted legs...I don't know that I have ever achieved that part..even with working out at the gym 6 days a week, my legs looked a heck of a lot better than they do now..but I still had the cellulite!  AND.... that my friends, is what has attributed to MY poor body image.

Body image is one's body perception and judgement of one's size, shape, weight and other aspects that relate to body appearance (hair, skin tone). 

*Can be different from how body actually appears to outside observers

*Influential factors in body image, reactions by others about one's appearance, comparison w/others and to cultural ideals, physical characteristics, parents, siblings, teachers, peers, coaches, media.  

So part of the mental cleanse I am doing is to remember why I feel the way I do about my body and what I need to do to purge those negative perceptions that I've acquired and allowed to take a hold of my life.  

I've told you all about my negative thoughts about my legs.  I remember two distinctive episodes in my life that I know have attributed to that negative view of my legs which has made it my life long mission to over come it.  ONLY two times has an outside observer said a negative thing and I have allowed those two times to "scar" me for life?!?  

I have challenged that negative voice inside me before and I've won the battle....but lately,  I've realized I am falling back into listening to that negative voice once again. 

My mental cleanse once again has started with taking my weight loss goals seriously and my workouts seriously. Taking those goals seriously has opened up the inner beast and I am ready to face the negative voice that says I can't and tries to shame me into hiding.   It is about shedding/cleansing those years of self hatred, shame, and misplaced criticism.  They really don't belong in the here and now!  

I love the quote "don't let anyone dull your sparkle".    I'm not gonna let that negative voice dull my sparkle!  

Have a great week and stay warm!  

Love, 

Marcy

Winter Blues

I don't know about you all, but I've got the blues. I'm tired of this when hell freezes over weather..

With about 60% of the US dealing with below temps and poor Boston dealing almost 8 feet of snow, who wants to build a snowman?!?!?   I loved Frozen! The movie was great, but in real life...not so great!  I'm done with it.  Let it go already!  ANNNDDD I'm letting go......and this is what I'm letting go of.......

I'm ready for the sunshine that brings warm temps.  Great long walks outside.  Hiking, riding.... anything outside.  Being outside helps when I'm feeling blah!  Being outside keeps me active and healthy mentally AND physically!

Well things have changed..no longer can I put the boys on the bus and go out in the field and mess around with my horse.  No longer can I put the boys on the bus and go for a run. No longer does my job consist of being outside for 12 hours a day.

I've been in a slump for quite some time. I get these spurts of energy and go full out with my dieting and training....then I revert back.  I'm tired of trying to run a household on my own.  I fall into working 40+ hours a week trap.  I come home feed two teenage boys, try to stay on top of their school work, take care of the mundane daily living skills, laundry, playing taxi service. They need a life, mom needs a life.  And really my boys aren't as busy as some....so what's the deal?!?!  Why can't I seem to multi task like before?

I'm the sort of gal who needs to get things the hard way.  Well the hard way hit me on Sunday when I stepped on the scale and took my measurements.   I've been toying with committing to this 24 day challenge thing, my girlfriend has introduced me to.  I've bought some of the product and tried it...loved it.  But have been keeping my other foot out the door so to speak.   Not sure what clicked last week, but I decided to go ahead and commit to this challenge, come hell or high water.  Stepping on that scale was the beginning of that challenge...and well it hit me..hard!  TIME is NOW!

I've always struggled with the scale and the number on the scale.  I've struggled with always being the "big tall" girl in the class or in the crowd.  I've learned to embrace the tallness, but with the tallness comes the struggle with my inferior complex of looking so huge next to my cute petite friends, which I've secretly desired a time or two.  So my journey will be a struggle with the scale and my own mental thoughts of what I think I should look like.   I've been here before, and I've done it...just like anything else.... I set my mind to something, I do it!

So I am setting out on a journey to regain my physically active lifestyle....and I am asking you to join me.  I plan on posting my highs and lows, my struggles, my triumphs with the scale, in addition to what has helped me regain the body confidence that I had fought so hard to get.  I am putting it all out there for the world to see...

Today is day two of my 24 day challenge.  Eating wise, I have made healthy choices, portion control. I worked out for 35 minutes.  I feel it in my gut that this is the journey meant for me.  I hope to meet more of you who are embarking on a similar journey.

Nothing better to beat the winter blues than getting my sweat on!!!

Thank you for taking the time to visit my page.  Have a great active evening!!!


Love,

Marcy

Happy "V" Day!

I had a plan to write an anti Valentine's Day post.  I saw a meme that quoted something about Valentine's Day being the most unromantic holiday..because you're only doing something because society says so....

I have been anti Valentine's Day in like forever!!!  I totally agree with that statement in the meme I saw.  Not to mention I have other reasons why Valentine's Day has been my least favorite holiday.  I know I am not alone in my thinking.   

Instead of dreading it this year, I have embraced the opportunity to reflect on just where I've come over these years and just where I am heading....I HAVE PLANS!   

I want to encourage all of you who may be feeling lonely and not in the mood to participate in the Valentine's mushy, what society tells us is romantic antics. LOVE yourself this Valentine's Day...reflect on where you've come from, and where you are going in your life.

LOVE you!  Turn your cant's into cans and your dreams into plans!!!!!  

This girl has turned her cant's into CANS!   Picture taken at local park, nothing like climbing a tree in a dress!  lol

   














Happy Valentine's Day!!!

LOVE,

Marcy