I'm sorry my friend, that I've disappointed you. I'm sorry that I have made some poor choices over these last few years while my whole world fell a part. I'm sorry that I am not the "same" Marcy you knew way back then. With all due respect, I had no idea who Marcy was! I'm sorry that the Marcy that I was discovering was not the one you approved of.
How do you go from being my biggest mentor, my biggest supporter, one of the most important people in my life to just totally cutting my out of your life/lives. You are the one who taught me to step out of my box. You're the one who told me "God has something more for you". You told me that I would always have a place there with you and your family. You taught me SOOOO MUCH. How to be strong, how to have a voice.
And when you were making a huge hurtful mistake in your life so many years ago, I was not happy with you, I saw the pain you were causing your loved one and those who looked up to you. I told you of my concern. You told me it was no concern of mine. You told me that with all due respect you knew what you were doing and that it was all good. Turns out it wasn't, and you hurt yourself as well as several people because your err in judgment. I was still there loving and supporting you when the dust settled. I didn't agree with you then, but I didn't leave you or abandon our relationship because of your choice.
So why when I made a choice that you did not agree with and made it known to you that I "knew what I was doing", even though it turns out I had no freakin' clue! I was being naive, well let's just call it was it is..stupid. So why after my poor choice and the dust has settled have you abandoned me and our relationship? It hurts me deeply that you have walked away from our friendship because of a poor choice I made.
I'm sorry that I didn't turn out to be who you thought I was. I'm sorry that the Marcy that you helped step outside of her box was a disappointment to you.
Just so you know, I am STILL that Marcy. I have not abandoned my faith. I still have a heart after God. I still love others with all of my heart. I still do my best. I still stand up for my faith, and my beliefs. I still stand up for what I know to be right. I still give of myself. I am still a little battered and bruised. BUT I am so much stronger than I was. And that is in part because of you. So thank you for teaching me so much. But just so you know I am deeply hurt that we are no longer friends.
I wish you all the best my dear friend. I will always be grateful for what you have taught me.
Love,
Marcy
wow. Thank you for sharing your heart here.
ReplyDeleteThank you Starla, for commenting. Blessings!
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