Tuesday, February 18, 2014

This Butterfly WANTS to Fly....But Something Is Holding Her Back!

So I'm struggling today...big time!!   Maybe I'm not as strong as I think I am. I feel very weak and vulnerable, not at all like the strong confident woman I thought I was evolving into.  

I've told you all I was that butterfly waiting for her wings to dry so she could take flight. But to be honest with you all, this butterfly is scared to death!   

I have many flaws....I heard someone say before, we are all like cracked pots. Well, I am definitely a cracked pot!  I've got so many cracks!   And I have been repaired...but those cracks are not refined, they are weak and every once in a while,  I can't endure the pressure and I feel like I'm falling a part again.  

ONE of the hardest parts of me putting my life back together again, is the dating scene.  I dated while going through the divorce process,  which I don't highly recommend.  I understand NOW why that can be a mistake, why that may not have been the best decision on MY part. But now that my divorce is final and I'm ready to see if there really is someone out there for me, I must admit, that well, I HATE IT!  LOL! I still believe that there is that one special someone out there for me, however, I seem to have this issue with TRUST!   All for good reasons.  All because of my past.  BUT not at all fair for the guy that I date!  

So I wonder if it is possible to find real love, real faith, real trust after all that has been broken?  

I'm learning to separate fact from feelings. Trust me, I have come a looooong way. However, I am not as strong as I want to be.    And I'm afraid that I will unintentionally sabotage a relationship because of what weaknesses still remain.  

TRUST is what is holding this butterfly back.  Now to tackle it!  



Comments are welcome!    

~Marcy~

3 comments:

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  2. Sry. First blog I posted too.....
    Shortly after I filed for divorce, I met a wonderful man. On our second date he said to me.... do not make me pay for his mistakes.. its not fair.... I was furious! How dare he!!! I was in pain!!! I was damaged!!! I was betrayed!!! Why didn't he care?? Truth was he was hurt badly as well. If we dwelled on the past or the reasons why it didn't work with them how could we make work for us??? I didnt want my ex and he didnt want her.... so that being said I was at a Y in the road.... how do I move forward??? Well first step is stop living for them and what didnt work and live for u. If prince charming is in front of u what r u waiting for? The proper number of days that u r single? When it looks good?? The truth is U got out, U lived, U put the pieces together for your boys, U have great friends and family..... How much stronger do u have to be?????? Your wings cant get any drier..... Stop trying to wet them just to keep your feet firmly planted. You are smart.... you have learned ALOT.... When r u going to fly??? Stop waiting.... you have waited for the last how many years???? Waited for things to get better, the drinking to stop, waited for approval, waited for the right time to leave...
    Trust in Marcy and the strong woman she is now.... NOT the broken, beat down girl that used to be... use those wings u fought so hard for....... and love with all your might......

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    Replies
    1. Anna, thank you so much for your kind words! And your eye opening encouragement! YOU'RE right!!! What am I waiting for?!?!?! Thank you for the push! <3

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